Thursday, August 24, 2006

America's Comparative Advantage: Cluster Bombs

If you've ever taken an economics course, you're familiar with comparative advantage. If you've never heard of it, it's the idea that certain parties (countries, city-states etc) are better at producing certain goods over others and as a result, it's mutually beneficial to trade.

It's more complicated than that and for the record, I did get a C in Intro to Economics. Nonetheless, I'm going to continue as if I were an authority on the subject.

Comparative advantage made a lot of sense in 1817 when countries like Portugal and England specialized in the production of wine and cloth. In the age of Wal-Mart and Starbucks, I'm not entirely sure that the idea still makes sense. Is China's comparative advantage cheap labor? Is Taiwan's comparative advantage small plastic toys? What's America's comparative advantage? Frappuccino?

Maybe some high-minded economist will write in and make me feel like an ass. In the mean time, I'll tell you what America's comparative advantage is:

Bombs.

We make 'em better than anybody. Big and small, nuclear or conventional. You need 'em? We got 'em. Just look at what Wikipedia tells me:

"The United States is by far the largest exporter of weapons in the world, selling more weapons than the next 14 countries combined. Military sales account for about 18 percent of the national budget, far and away the greatest proportion of any nation."
What brought all this up? This morning I woke up to a heart-warming story on NPR about children in Lebanon picking up unexploded Israeli cluster bombs because they look like toys. That got me thinking, "Who makes these bombs?"

After about a half-second of thought it came to me: we did!


That got me thinking about the actual people who make them. From the executives at the top who sell the clusters right down to the people on the factory floor who screw them together. How do they feel about it? I seriously just wonder how these people feel about it.

For this reason, I'm going to write letters to the ten largest weapons manufactures in the US. I'm going to ask them if they make cluster bombs, and if so, how they feel about it? Do cluster bombs excite them? Or is this just a stopgap until something better comes along? Like a job at Wal-Mart?

Even though I might get a visit from the FBI for doing this, I think it could be a real learning experience. Stay tuned for the inevitably enlightening form letters I'll receive from GE and the Carlyle Group.


Forced to Work at Wal-Mart

I just encountered a lovely little editorial in The Indianapolis Star:

No one is forced to work for Wal-Mart

August 23, 2006

What do Democrats such as Sen. Evan Bayh have against Wal-Mart? If conditions and pay were actually as bad as Democrats make it out to be, the employees of Wal-Mart are free to leave, or they would have chosen not to work there in the first place.

Do Democrats actually have a problem with Wal-Mart? No, but unions do, and if unions have a problem, so do Democrats such as Bayh, who won't even return his campaign contribution from Wal-Mart, he's so disgusted with them.

Larry Clark

Wanamaker

This is a really common sentiment and it completely confounds me. No, Mr. Clark, nobody is physically forced to work at Wal-Mart. People work at Wal-Mart because THERE ARE NO OTHER JOBS OUT THERE!!!

I have friends who graduated from some of the most expensive private universities in the country and can't find work. They wait tables and work in Borders. What about people who never graduated from college and live in small towns like Nitro, West Virginia or Falfurrias, Texas? What kind of options do they have?

I know that in America you're supposed to pull 'yerself UP from 'yer bootstraps and all. But if you live in a town of 5,297
people, where most businesses have closed down BECAUSE OF WAL-MART, and you've got kids to feed and no savings, the only thing that's UP is Wal-Mart.

I think people work there because they're out of options, or it's the best option around. That's the tragic reality.

I also think Wal-Mart employees should get living wages. It's lazy and ignorant to just say, "you're not forced to work there!" and forget about reality.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Housing Sales Drop, Bright Future Ahead?

The Washington Post has informed me that sales of previously-owned homes dropped to their lowest levels in July.

That's good news to people like me who don't understand the housing market but would like to someday own a home. Housing prices will magically drop soon, right? I'll be able to buy a starter home before I'm 45 like my parents did, right?

No?

It just means the economy will go to shit? Great. I guess I'll just rent one of those fancy condos once all those developers realize they won't be able to sell them.

Monday, August 21, 2006

People Fucking On the Bus

Not many people read this blog. In fact, I'm pretty sure the only people who read this thing on a daily basis either slept with me back in the 90s when I played saxophone for Hoobastank, or share a cubicle with me.

I did experience a slight jump in readership last week when I posted my hard-hitting expose on the Chinatown Bus racket, "I Expose Myself to a Bus Full of People."

This biting piece of fierce journalism burned up the pages of Wonkette as well as the Washington Post's Express.com. Yup, I'm gonna get a book deal any day now. Or at least an Editor's position at Time.com.

In the mean time, I'll just amuse myself by checking out the referral page on POP POP BANG's sitemeter. Did you know someone found POP POP BANG because they searched for "people fucking on the bus"?

That's really something, isn't it? I've learned that not only do some people actually use MSN Search, but that bus sex really interests the masses. And by masses, I mean one lonely guy in Alberta, Canada.

Way to go, bus sex guy! I hope you return.


K-FED Loves Donnie & Marie

If you're one of the few people who missed the 2006 Teen Choice Awards, here's your chance to finally see K-Fed in action.

It's really is worth the 4 minutes and 57 seconds. Not only do you get to see Jessica Simpson struggle with the English language, and a clearly embarrassed Britney introduce both her "man" as well as her milk jugs to an ecstatic pre-teen audience, but you get to see K-Fed rap.


I'll let you in on a little secret: He sucks.

Shocking, I know, but you'll need to watch the video in order to understand how much he sucks. He sucks so much that he actually raps,

"This is that hip hop flava mixed with a little bit of rock and roll."

Is he turning to Donnie & Marie for inspiration?
How can anyone rap that with a straight face? Plus, that's the chorus! No wonder he couldn't get a record deal.

Let's Get Motivated!

American Splendor has been kicking around my dvd collection for the past year. I typically ignore it. Who's this comic guy, Harvey Pekar, anyway? Why should I care? Is this some artsy movie made by French people? These are the things I think about when a movie arrives in the mail that has been chosen by the ol' lady.

Most nights I would rather rewatch or reread
Dune than risk watching some brand new movie. But for whatever reason, Mandie and I watched this little gem last night.

What a good movie! It's quite entertaining and brilliantly shot, but most of all, I can really relate to this Harvey Pekar guy. For you see,

I
often feel like a loser.

I
often feel like my life isn't going anywhere.

I often find lumps on my testicles.

I often don't tell anyone about the lumps I find on my testicles.

After the movie, I felt completely motivated to complete my latest video game. Things have been really rough on that front, as my obsessive compulsive behavior really hinders development. I'll sit and rework the same background for weeks on end. To what end?

Certainly not success, if you ask me.