Changiness of the Future

So Hillary came out as saying she'd take on Barry as her running mate in the general election. I think that's very wishful thinking considering the abysmal campaign she's running. But say Barack runs down a group of toddlers while riding drunk on a lawn mower and she becomes the nominee. She would have to take on Barack as VP even with the pending murder trial considering the incredible groundswell of support behind him. But what happens when he runs for President again after shuffling through a boring eight years, isolated and alone in a secluded room of the Old Executive Office Building? What would the Barack of 2016 run on? Inevitability? More Change?

Bow Before Your President

I know the big story of the day is that Bush arrived early for his photo op with McCain and had to hang around the White House parking lot smoking cigarettes. But the thing I can't get over is that he made McCain practically bow before him on the White house steps. Check out this photo. It's like he's asking Walnuts to kiss his Signet Ring. I half expect Bush is wearing a codpiece under his suit and holding a ham hock in his left hand, that or a sword in preparation for the anointment ceremony.

I like to think that McCain took a swing at George right after this photo was taken, spat on him and said, "that was for the black baby rumor. Now where's Rove?!".

Sarah Vowell Pickup Lines

I admit it. I have a deep and passionate crush on Gen-x history buff Sarah Vowell. This hasn't gone over well with my tall, willowy, exotic beauty of a fiancee. She doesn't understand my strange attraction to depressed, short and dykie women. Don't worry though, we've already sunk thousands into our catering security deposit, so the wedding will still go forward. But for the thousands of you out there who dream of stealing Sarah Vowell's heart, I've come up with a few sure-fire pickup lines.

First and foremost, find some kind of plaque or monument pertaining to some historical person or event that can be easily compared to a modern-day Republican. Stand there and wait, Sarah is bound to show up. When she does, say things like this:

• You know, DC wasn't ever actually a swamp. The original city sat on what was farmer fields, forests, springs, two creeks and two rivers. DC got a bad rap back in the 1800s because they essentially threw down an insta-city in the midst of rivers that still flooded. If anything, New York City sits on more of a swamp than DC. Seriously. (If you don't have the patience to spell out the source link, hand her a piece of paper with the link written on it)
• Don't you love radio?
• If their idea was to kill Lincoln and then the next two top officials in the presidential line of succession, how come the Lincoln Assassination conspirators targeted Secretary of State Seward? At the time, the second in line was the Senate pro tempore. From what I can tell the Secretary of State wasn't even added to the line up till 1886. What's up with that? Why did Powell have to go and cut up Billy Seward with a bowie knife like that?
• Just 10 months, 17 days left of the Bush administration...
  
• You know I walk by David Herold's grave almost every day when I walk my dog at Congressional Cemetary. Want to come with me sometime?