Why The Green Party Will NEVER Win

I just picked up this awesome informational pamphlet from the DC Statehood Green Party. Someone named Otten is running for mayor. It starts off great.

They want to rebuild DC schools.

They want to reopen DC General.

They want to eliminate DC's regressive tax system.

Sounds awesome. Then you get to the fine print:


Can you find Waldo? No? Here, I'll show you:


Nothing speaks to the people of DC better than that! Seriously, walk up to the average guy hanging out on Georgia Ave and say, "Hey man, wanna expand political discourse to more voices from the PLEBISCITE!" He be all like, "Yeah man! Who you wit? State Hood Green?" It's all about the street cred. This election is YOURS, Statehood Greens.

Fire your communications staff Mr. Otten. Do it quickly, while there's still time. I seriously wish you the best, but get rid of the burned out hippy who likes to quote Foucault and hasn't left his tiny corner of Northwest in 35 years and get yourself someone who's in touch with reality.

Unless you wrote that pamphlet yourself, in which case, you've got bigger problems to worry about.

NASA Plays With Toys

Guess What? NASA is repairing the Hubble Telescope! Isn't that great news? They were going to let it rot up there.

Apparently, all they need to do is replace a couple gyroscopes.

Seriously, read the article. The Hubble Telescope consists of gyroscopes.

If I had known, I would have called up my nephew Billy. His mom bought him a really nifty Acme Science-Starter Kit that contains several gyroscopes. He'll give them up for a couple Bazooka Joes.

NASA's stupid.

Comedy Central So Stupid

Comedy Central lawyers have "requested" YouTube remove clips of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. I can't think of a more idiotic reaction to glorious, free advertising. It's not like they're going to release comprehensive box sets for these shows. It's hard to market DVD collections of 100 discs or more.

Maybe they want potential viewers to surf over to their clunky, retarded, overbearing, obnoxious, firefox-crashing website for any & all clip viewing.

I challenge you to try and watch a clip on that site. Your computer will literally vomit all over your desk. It's like a acid suppository for your desktop.

One day these executives and lawyers will wake up to reality. They can't control everything. They can make money by embracing the internets. This is the age of Aquarius.

Live a little!