British People Love Corny Shit

Did you know that according to a new survey James Blunt's "Goodbye My Lover" is the most requested funeral song in Britain?

I don't know who James Blunt is, nor do I care, but the other top choices suggest a previously unrecognized level of empathy and decorum on the part of the average British person:

• "Fame: I Want to Live Forever". Please note the subtlety of this choice. Not only does it present a poignant if not confusing statement on humanity's mortal existance, but it will leave your friends and family wondering if and when your rotting corpse will rise from the grave, driven by the urge to pirouet off cars and later do porn after failing to make it on Broadway.


• "Knocking On Heaven's Door" by Bob Dylan. I can only hope the most requested version is the 1987 Guns N' Roses cover. Nothing says "Goodbye" like Axl Rose's tortured weltschmerzen. But make sure the funeral home still has a tape-deck , because I doubt they've rereleased the single on CD. Do you think they'll ever release Chinese Democracy? Man, that's gonna be a great album.
  


• "I've Had The Time Of My Life" by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes. It's got the slow, touching intro duet followed by an up-beat mambo dance section. How can you go wrong? Your family can mourn your loss while at the same time dirty dancing Swayze-style. Perfect choice.