Gifts for Centenarians
What's an appropriate birthday gift for someone turning 100?
My girlfriend needs to find a gift for her childhood next-door neighbor. This is a delicate matter. Thankfully, www.findgift.com has an entire section dedicated to 100th Birthday Gift Ideas. Check out these choice selections:
What 100 year old wouldn't want a cape? It will remind them the Age of Exploration, back when pirates named Blackbeard sailed the high seas. You know, their childhood. Plus, it looks a lot like a hospital smock, which is something they'll need pretty soon anyway.
Hey, elderly lady. Want some Elderly slippers? These Elderly slippers have velcro. In case you feel too elderly to wear normal shoes.
I've always wondered where old people found their cool shoes. Now I know. Silvert's Clothing for Seniors.
Imagine this heartwarming scene: Grandpa opens his gifts as his entire loving family sits nearby. "What did you get me, Billy?" he asks, "Oh, Diabetic Care Socks. Thanks so much. These will really help with my swollen feet. Grandchildren are so thoughtful! Can someone shoot me now?"
There's nothing like rubbing it in. You're old. And incontinent. But we're ok with that. Plus, these will help you get a little action on the side. Horny old Mr. McSweeney will be able to pinch that cute tukus of yours any day of the week.
All in all, I think these gifts are depressing. Why make an old person feel old? When I'm that age, I plan on smoking lots of drugs. Maybe even trying the hard stuff. I don't do that now, because I've got too much to accomplish. But at 100 years old, I'm going nuts. That's why I think my girlfriend should get her kindly next door neighbor this:
The booze belt. This gift is perfect for grandmas, grandpas and centenarians everywhere. It's perfect for russling up vodka tonics while shuffling off to the bathroom. Go out in style, that's what I say.
Get yours quick before some jock who pop collars buys up the entire lot.
My girlfriend needs to find a gift for her childhood next-door neighbor. This is a delicate matter. Thankfully, www.findgift.com has an entire section dedicated to 100th Birthday Gift Ideas. Check out these choice selections:
What 100 year old wouldn't want a cape? It will remind them the Age of Exploration, back when pirates named Blackbeard sailed the high seas. You know, their childhood. Plus, it looks a lot like a hospital smock, which is something they'll need pretty soon anyway.
Hey, elderly lady. Want some Elderly slippers? These Elderly slippers have velcro. In case you feel too elderly to wear normal shoes.I've always wondered where old people found their cool shoes. Now I know. Silvert's Clothing for Seniors.
Imagine this heartwarming scene: Grandpa opens his gifts as his entire loving family sits nearby. "What did you get me, Billy?" he asks, "Oh, Diabetic Care Socks. Thanks so much. These will really help with my swollen feet. Grandchildren are so thoughtful! Can someone shoot me now?"
There's nothing like rubbing it in. You're old. And incontinent. But we're ok with that. Plus, these will help you get a little action on the side. Horny old Mr. McSweeney will be able to pinch that cute tukus of yours any day of the week.All in all, I think these gifts are depressing. Why make an old person feel old? When I'm that age, I plan on smoking lots of drugs. Maybe even trying the hard stuff. I don't do that now, because I've got too much to accomplish. But at 100 years old, I'm going nuts. That's why I think my girlfriend should get her kindly next door neighbor this:
The booze belt. This gift is perfect for grandmas, grandpas and centenarians everywhere. It's perfect for russling up vodka tonics while shuffling off to the bathroom. Go out in style, that's what I say.Get yours quick before some jock who pop collars buys up the entire lot.
posted by Mr. Bottled at Tuesday, September 19, 2006
2 Comments:
Booze belts aren't just for old people. I think I sent that advertisement to Mandie a while back and suggested that we each get one.
Maybe a booze belt can be an intergenerational gift! One for grandma and granddaughter! Matching ones with bows!
If you're looking into comfortable and easy clothing for your neighbor, look at Adaptive Clothing. I got my grandmother a beautiful throw from there!
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