My Cat Has a Secret Jet Pack

I never liked cats. They make me sneeze. They claw at me. You can never trust them. Then one night Mandie got me drunk at Pasta Mia. The next thing I know I'm kitten-proofing the house and making out a check to the Madison Green Humane Society.

Now I like cats. We even took in a foster cat and ended up keeping her. But every once in a while cats make me want to scream.

Sophia, our second cat, has a penchant for peeing on the futon. I'm not sure why. She has a perfectly lovely litter box that I clean every day. She even has an extra litter box with a cover just in case she needs privacy. But for some reason, she just loves to pee on the futon. Everyday at five I walk in the door and find a nice big wet spot on the ole' Munkarp.

Last night after getting home late from the Nats game, I went through the usual motions of cleaning up the urine, but took the extra step of leaning the mattress against the wall. I figured that would buy me some time.

I was wrong.

Not only did I find urine on the mattress, I found fresh urine on the opposite side of the mattress. In the usual spot. Maybe she climbed up the top of the futon. But how did she pee on the mattress? She would have had to balance on a thin strip of wood, and pee upwards. Or does she have the ability to levitate? Plus, I thought women can't aim. This is one determined cat.

My only option is to pee on the mattress myself. Again.