Guerilla Speed Dating

Last Saturday, I took my lady out for a nice night on the town.

When that didn't work, I took her to the Raven.

We ordered up a nice pair of High Life's and sat back to enjoy the watered-down flavor. Not long after sitting down we noticed a pair of attractive women sit down uninvited in a nearby booth occupied by two young men. The guys seemed a little surprised, as if thinking, "but we didn't even have to try!"

They carried what seemed to be a nice conversation for about three minutes. Then a third girl ran over and shouted, "Time!"

The two women immediately switched places in the booth and began talking with their new respective prey. The guys didn't even flinch. My girlfriend and I couldn't figure out what was going on. Then after a few more minutes the third girl came back and shouted, "Time!" Then all three women got up and walked away.

The guys turned back to their drinks and went on talking as if nothing had happened.

A little later two other guys ordered drinks and stood just in front of our table. The same two women rushed up and started talking to them. One of the guys seemed really interested in one of the women, but the other guy kept looking at his guy friend as if to say either, "this girl isn't my type" or "you're more of my type."

After two minutes, the same third girl ran up and shouted "Time!". They switched. The guys looked really confused but kept talking with the girls. Then the girl came back and they all left. The guys seemed heartbroken. These weren't hunky studs. Just skinny indie boys.

I leaned over and asked, "hey, do you know those girls?"

"No, they just came up to us," one of them responded. "Then this other girl came and shouted time and then they left. It was really weird."

"They just did the same thing to another couple of guys," I said while smiling.

They didn't seem amused. After a half-hour or so the three women found another group of guys to experiment on.

I said to my girlfriend, "It's got to be guerilla speed dating." She agreed but wanted to know more. Could it be that they were trying to get back at all the skeezy men who hit on girls for sex? Are they trying to take the initiative and make the men feel uncomfortable for once? If so, this was the wrong crowd. I doubt any of the men in that bar had ever initiated a conversation with someone of the opposite sex in their life.

After the latest round of speed dating ended, my girlfriend walked over to ask the girls about their operation.

"We're the DC Ambush Speed Dating Team!" they said.

We went on to learn that this enterprising group of friends felt that dating had become too "corporate". Why do people need to shell out money to private businesses just to talk to potential mates? Why not just go up to people at random?

Why not indeed. So, if at some point you're casually sipping on a beer at a DC bar and a pair of women swoop in, charm you off your feet and then walk away, don't feel bad. It's anti-corporate.