Fun with Cultural Co-Option

I never liked the word "poseur". People with little or no self-esteem usually use it to demean lonely suburban kids who want nothing more than to be just a little different.

I was a lonely suburban kid once. I understand their pain.

But then I got Musician's Friend Offstage catalog in the mail, which purports to be "packed with cool gear for your rock 'n' roll lifestyle!

and it occurred to me. This shit has got to stop.

I'm pretty sure it was cool to listen to Iron Maiden at some point, but every time some eleven year old kid opens up this catalog and is inspired to raise his tiny hairless hand in questionable rebellion because this douchebag made it look cool, an angel dies. Sure, that's what Maiden wants, but it only makes the rest of us very, very sad.

"Why did the angel have to die, mommy?"

"Because the douchebag in the Maiden hoodie killed Rock 'n' Roll. Now eat your peas."


Nothing says "fuck you, you suicidal shit-bag, I don't care about you Or your music, I'm going to look sexy in your band's t-shirt!" like this fantastic cotton tee. It almost makes ME want to eat a shotgun.

I know this kid, he was in my ska band. We called ourselves Ska Ska Ska Ska Ska Ska Ska and he played trombone. I bet he now makes fun of people like me who used to be in a ska band. No bother. Now I can make fun of him for having been in an emo band.

Douche.
This model pops up all over this catalog, and I can't help but get lost in his eyes. If I didn't already have a job, a sense of style, and self-respect, I'd grow my hair into long flowing locks like his, draw black crosses on my hands with black magic marker, put on some combat boots and walk around town singing slayer. That would strike fear into the hearts of the establishment. Thank's Musician's Friend, for showing me the way!

I'm not sure what's more disturbing, the fact that Angus Young's schoolboy outfit became popular with fans, or that Musician's Friend is selling this disturbing figurine. I hope it wiggles like those talking fish. Also, $99!?!?

You can't just place the blame on Musician's Friend. Sure, they're co-opting something...I'm not sure what, but it involves things that may or may not have been cool at some point but are now very clearly lame. You also have to place blame on these models. Who are they, and what are they doing? Does this guy hang out at the local underground music club and show girls his "portfolio"? Does he say things like, "Want to see my tats?" before pulling out glossy color photos of the above picture?

Does he know what he's doing to destroy America?

I think he does, and by my count, we're one "poly shirt with tribal tat panels and embroidered daggers" away from oblivion.